Random crap with Uno.

[E_T]

Definitely not Boris Karloff...

[Unorthodox]

Well that son of a motherless goat. 

I know I don't speak up often in there, but when you buy my stuff from a particular group you'd think you'd remember not to pass it off as your own creation. 

[Buster's Uncle]

Halloween forum?  Link?

[Unorthodox]

No the local google group. 

[Unorthodox]

Feel like crap.  Medicating. 

[Unorthodox]

! No longer available

[Unorthodox]

Windchill is -7 right now.  (-21.6 for you internationals) 

Not helping the crappy feeling at all, that. 

[Unorthodox]

A. They figure the guy smart enough to solve the problem is smart enough to get by while everyone else is sorted
B. Incompetence
C. Coincidence
D. One or more of the above

I know their thinking, it's just not going to work. 

We handle over triple the volume of the rest of the corporate combined  On paper, it's a lot easier to certify the system when you're only worried about small numbers, then ideally you just roll it off to the big stuff. 

But I WILL break it and we'll have to recertify after the fix.  Been through this 4 times now.  I literally wrote the book in a few areas. 

Almost like I'm Psychic or something...

It's broken.  I'm trying to fix. 

[Unorthodox]

Unrelated.

"I guess we should have listened to UnO in the first place." 

"He's just a _________, just because he got lucky here doesn't mean *^%&." 


There are days that Boeing job looks nice...

[Unorthodox]

I know I often refer to this place as the circus...

Some backdrop:

When I started in this business back in 2002, it was more of a Broadway Musical, which had been running for 40 years.  Sure, there was a bunch of different crews, but they all worked to bring about one production.  Of course, the director was a big fat jerk full of himself and demanded more and more of the proceeds go to his pocket.  The theater (Gubment) eventually got tired of this, and decided we were going to take the show on the road and break it up. 

Thus, the circus was born. 

You have the acrobats doing the dangerous things up in the air.  (7 yr contract)

You have the Magicians making things disappear and reappear.  (3 yr contract)

And you have the daredevils with the human cannonballs and dome of death type acts.  (10 yr contract)

Meanwhile, we have the sideshow where I work (8 yr contract).  Our job is not just a side attraction, but rather keeping the other acts all in the same tent, filling in holes when one of the acts has a problem, keeping the theater happy and highlighting each for the audience as appropriate.  Part of the sideshow contract is that we will not attempt to perform any of the other acts, however, as the theater is eager to prevent another monopoly situation like the old show. 

The former director attempted to run the sideshow, but the theater was so unhappy with his previous stunts, they gave him a trial run of managing the Magicians.  That trial is over next year, and the process has begun to find a more permanent replacement.  Word has it that replacement might create 2 new acts, and all the acts smell the blood and are positioning themselves to gobble up any pieces that might fall onto the floor. 

THUS.....

Last night, meeting with all the acts, Magician director: "We've got to coordinate with 4 different organizations and get 5 government officials to sign off.  It's going to take 3 weeks."

the other acts start bickering about their parts in this and arguing who can do it quicker

Me: "Here, I'll take care of that."

This morning meeting: Magician Director "We're waiting on Uno to get everything ready..."

"Here you go.  All signed off and waiting on you."

"How did you get this done in 12 hours?!?!?!"

(I have worked for both the acrobats and daredevils, and closely with a lot of magicians.  I've literally written large swaths of the book on this particular job.  I know how and where to push things.)

Today:  [Magician Director on why it still hasn't been done]We object to Uno's name being on this, we won't do the work until his name is off and we get full credit for pulling this off.  (which would upset the other acts and bring another delay)   By (insert legal jargon in process) it doesn't need his signature. 

(see, by helping them, plugging a hole like I'm supposed to, in front of the theater, I'd made him look like an incompetent ass again, when he's under review for a follow on...)  I signed off as required (insert legal jargon). 

Theater:  I want this done by tomorrow. 


___________________________________________

I've been thrust out from behind the curtain to handle a lot more of this politicking crap lately.  Just cause I don't like it doesn't mean I can't DO it.  Probably ultimately good that powers that be get to know me some more, but I can't wait to be able to go back behind the curtain...

Soonish.   

Not soon enough. 

Attempting a more difficult follow on of the above. 

Magician (Boeing) Director:  "I know we really rushed things last time with a little help from Uno, but we need to make sure this is all lined up right this time first, we'll have the proper signoffs by next week." 

Theater:  "Uno already completed all that last week.  You've been notified here, here, and here.  Why is it not completed?"

MD: "He's not even supposed to be a part of this, we didn't ask for his help, we don't want him stepping into OUR business."

Theater:  "His business is what I say it is, and I asked him to line it up so we didn't have to deal with your excuses." 

MD:  unimpressive death stare the rest of the meeting. 



Don't know if this idjit has anything to do with the opening or not.  Don't care.  He can either appreciate I do things right and swift or be upset I'm making him look exposing the fact he is inept. 

[Unorthodox]

Feel like crap.  Medicating. 

So, that was a nice nasal issue going on.  It's not firmly lodged in my chest, which if you've known me long, my breathing is always tenuous in the winter pollution ANYWAY.  Possible fever, been outside far too long to be able to tell.  Feel like crap. 

Meanwhile I'm still covering operations because the new guy hasn't caught on yet, so I've had to run 20 flights of stairs trying to keep things going in -10 wind chill.  I finally get back inside to get assaulted by yet more 'UnO I need these financial reports' that are the one thing I told the director I want no part of, I've never touched, I have absolutely no info on, that's why we hired the new guy.  Finances and operations.  I come up to ask the guy about them.  "Oh yeah, I haven't set up an account yet, can you help me?"  It's a double click link in his email...that's it.  Supposed to have been done over a month ago. 

I seriously need to figure out how to tactfully let management know their new guy isn't cutting it.  I was hoping folks would notice on their own...

Oh, and I have to move the monkey tree again. 

[Unorthodox]

I know I often refer to this place as the circus...

Some backdrop:

When I started in this business back in 2002, it was more of a Broadway Musical, which had been running for 40 years.  Sure, there was a bunch of different crews, but they all worked to bring about one production.  Of course, the director was a big fat jerk full of himself and demanded more and more of the proceeds go to his pocket.  The theater (Gubment) eventually got tired of this, and decided we were going to take the show on the road and break it up. 

Thus, the circus was born. 

You have the acrobats doing the dangerous things up in the air.  (7 yr contract)

You have the Magicians making things disappear and reappear.  (3 yr contract)

And you have the daredevils with the human cannonballs and dome of death type acts.  (10 yr contract)

Meanwhile, we have the sideshow where I work (8 yr contract).  Our job is not just a side attraction, but rather keeping the other acts all in the same tent, filling in holes when one of the acts has a problem, keeping the theater happy and highlighting each for the audience as appropriate.  Part of the sideshow contract is that we will not attempt to perform any of the other acts, however, as the theater is eager to prevent another monopoly situation like the old show. 

The former director attempted to run the sideshow, but the theater was so unhappy with his previous stunts, they gave him a trial run of managing the Magicians.  That trial is over next year, and the process has begun to find a more permanent replacement.  Word has it that replacement might create 2 new acts, and all the acts smell the blood and are positioning themselves to gobble up any pieces that might fall onto the floor. 

THUS.....

Last night, meeting with all the acts, Magician director: "We've got to coordinate with 4 different organizations and get 5 government officials to sign off.  It's going to take 3 weeks."

the other acts start bickering about their parts in this and arguing who can do it quicker

Me: "Here, I'll take care of that."

This morning meeting: Magician Director "We're waiting on Uno to get everything ready..."

"Here you go.  All signed off and waiting on you."

"How did you get this done in 12 hours?!?!?!"

(I have worked for both the acrobats and daredevils, and closely with a lot of magicians.  I've literally written large swaths of the book on this particular job.  I know how and where to push things.)

Today:  [Magician Director on why it still hasn't been done]We object to Uno's name being on this, we won't do the work until his name is off and we get full credit for pulling this off.  (which would upset the other acts and bring another delay)   By (insert legal jargon in process) it doesn't need his signature. 

(see, by helping them, plugging a hole like I'm supposed to, in front of the theater, I'd made him look like an incompetent ass again, when he's under review for a follow on...)  I signed off as required (insert legal jargon). 

Theater:  I want this done by tomorrow. 


___________________________________________

I've been thrust out from behind the curtain to handle a lot more of this politicking crap lately.  Just cause I don't like it doesn't mean I can't DO it.  Probably ultimately good that powers that be get to know me some more, but I can't wait to be able to go back behind the curtain...

Soonish.   

Not soon enough. 

Attempting a more difficult follow on of the above. 

Magician (Boeing) Director:  "I know we really rushed things last time with a little help from Uno, but we need to make sure this is all lined up right this time first, we'll have the proper signoffs by next week." 

Theater:  "Uno already completed all that last week.  You've been notified here, here, and here.  Why is it not completed?"

MD: "He's not even supposed to be a part of this, we didn't ask for his help, we don't want him stepping into OUR business."

Theater:  "His business is what I say it is, and I asked him to line it up so we didn't have to deal with your excuses." 

MD:  unimpressive death stare the rest of the meeting. 



Don't know if this idjit has anything to do with the opening or not.  Don't care.  He can either appreciate I do things right and swift or be upset I'm making him look exposing the fact he is inept. 

 
And they did it WRONG. 

Maybe permanently fubared.  Literally don't know how to read directions. 

edit:  Oh, and they tried to hide the fact they did it wrong, which likely makes it WORSE.  Fabulous.  It's like working with my kids. 

[Unorthodox]

Actual emergency today.

Late to meeting on how it was going to impact the Circus: 

Head monkey: "Oh, we're just closing up, I've been telling everyone why opening the new act can't be done Monday, I need this and that and we can't get them till next week.  Do you have anything to add?" 

"Oh, you must mean THESE.  Sorry I was late." 

[Unorthodox]

What is was.



What we've been working with since starting...



Progress.  (couldn't get the full shot because the other half the room is full of boxes for the rest of the cabinets and appliances. 


ETA 11 days. 

[Unorthodox]

Oh, and I have to move the monkey tree again. 

Moved the tree Thursday. 

They had Friday and Saturday, but still haven't managed to get their bananas over there.  Meanwhile the freaks and clowns need the old cage.